« LDS Family Services in the news again *CAUTION* Disturbing article | Home | Another man who’s child was taken against his will. »
LDS adoption horror story
By The ODea Family | September 27, 2007
The following are quotes from a story on themormoncurtain.com It is a site where ex mormons come and talk about their experience with the church. There is a section dedicated to LDS Family Services (Social Services)
http://mormoncurtain.com/topic_ldsss.html
I’m going to let the article speak for itself. To read the full article follow the link above.
——————————————————–
“As time wore on … the pressure grew. At first it was subtle, but then it became almost outright at the end. The lady from LDS Services told me that she thought I should give my baby up, as I was too young and couldn’t care for it properly - besides that, my baby needed a good two-parent home with temple worthy parents. Even the Bishop himself told me that I needed to give my baby up for adoption.”
“During all of this, Steve was away. He had since moved to another city after our breakup, and I had eventually told him the news - which had stunned him. I knew he was also afraid and shocked. He asked me what I was going to do, and I told him I did not know. And during the course of all these months the LDS Family Services had plotted with me.
They told me that it didn’t matter whether Steve agreed with the adoption or not — they had ways to coerce him to agree, or to guilt-trip him or force him to agree. And if that did not work they told me, then they could secretly sneak me into Alberta (as I live in British Columbia) where I could give birth to the baby and give it to an adoptive couple. There were loopholes, I was assured, that could make sure Steve could never see his baby, or at least never get custody.
There were many sympathetic judges and cities where the Mormons always won custody battles and there were “many ways” that were told to me of how I could sneak off and deceive whomever I wanted.”
“One day, I got a call from my younger brother. He was deeply grieved and worried. It turns out that his girlfriend (18 years old) had accidentally become pregnant. She and her family were MORMON.”
“Now Jenny had been intimate with my brother (a non member and atheist) and the pregnancy had been the result. She was afraid and confused”……..”She also wanted the child to have a two-parent home with all the the necessary support and proper care.”
“At first she lied and denied the pregnancy. But through sources, my brother found out about it. Then she admitted to it, but refused to state that my brother was the father. Finally she gave in, and admitted that he was. She then wavered with her considerations on what to do.
“Sometimes she seemed to want to keep the baby, but she also changed her mind constantly. My brother told me that her parents were pressuring her to give the baby up for adoption, and that she had been seeing people from LDS Family Services who were counseling her to do the same.
My brother had offered to take custody of the child, but Jenny refused his offer. Her parents and LDSFS also vehemently denied his offer. My brother was afraid and worried and didn’t know what to do. He loved his child and desperately wanted to have custody and keep his baby.
I was immediately concerned. I knew about the resources at the church’s disposal. I knew of its scheming, conniving and barely-legal ways. I knew what my brother was in for. I began to give him advice and instructions at once. I told him everything I knew and gave him all the ammunition I could. He immediately got lawyers and began legally doing everything he could to prepare for the birth and ensuing court case.”
“All the meanwhile LDS Family Services harassed him, and tried to guilt-trip him, coerce him and used scare tactics to try and make him submit. He continually refused to sign any papers, make any agreements or consent in any fashion to the adoption.”
“I blamed a few over-zealous people in LDSFS who I felt were wrong, but doing what they thought was right. I still, even then, was so brainwashed that I thought it was God’s true church on earth and that my brother was somehow just having a bad experience with a few bad apples.”
“After Jenny gave birth to my brother’s daughter, she secretly fled to Alberta. There, my niece was given to the adoptive couple. My brother was not notified, had not given his consent, and could not find his daughter as LDSFS hid the location from us. We only found all this out by going through the court.
The court case ended up having to be moved to Alberta, and to Lethbridge city (one of the places I’d been told was “sympathetic to the Mormon cause”) and to a sympathetic judge. After endless battles in court and much arguing-the ruling was handed down.
My brother had lost his case. He had lost his daughter. I had lost my niece. ”
“I’m sad to say that my brother lost his case, lost his appeal and nothing has been done since. This September it will be 2 years since his daughter was born. He has not seen her once and is not allowed visitation. He has not been sent any photographs or letters by mail, nor has he been updated on her condition or life. He has not seen her, or heard anything about her EVEN ONCE.”
“In so many cases, the church had just taken the children to another province or state and they had never seen their child again. Or the church had overwhelmed them in court with unlimited money and lawyers and PR and they had lost their children. Or mothers had consented to adoption (from pressure and guilt and force) and changed their minds only to have the LDS cult refuse to return the children, or find a legal loophole to keep them from getting their children back.
Countless fathers had been lied to, conned, out-manipulated, out-spent, or just plain had their children kidnapped from them. Especially non-LDS men who wanted to keep their children but never had a chance. THIS IS HAPPENING EVERY DAY!”
“And that the church uses loopholes and barely legal (and UNETHICAL) ways of winning custody of the children from fathers or mothers or both. And that EVERYDAY children are being literally kidnapped and taken to different states or places and hidden from parents - and then given to adoptive parents who are privy to this crime.”
Topics: Adoption |
Bogus story. The above story is very very unlikely. As an adoptive father who has worked with LDS Services I have first hand experience. If anything, LDS Services works too hard to protect birth parents. In my case, the birth-mom wanted to give up the baby and LDS Services continually encouraged her to revisit her options. Then when the birth-father proved difficult (denied it was his kids and refused to sign anything), LDS Services thwarted all my sneaky plans to pressure and coerce him. They repeatedly worked to make sure there was no undue pressure on either birth parent, and repeatedly told me that was the company policy. So this silly story about plotting and coercive LDS case workers is really hard to believe.
Posted by: Matt in AZ on February 17th, 2009 at 1:25 amSorry Matt, but his is happening every day to “gentiles”. Mormons are lying and stealing babies every day in every imaginable city including Samoa.
Posted by: LDS SUCKS on March 8th, 2009 at 7:27 pmThis story is an “my experience” story and can easily be manipulated to make the “cult” LDS seem the enemy. I see no supporting facts, etc. This is about like reporting we see all over these days, no facts, just emotion.
Posted by: Rain on April 1st, 2009 at 9:01 pmKeep trying.
The language here is certainly loaded. That said, I don’t think that such a thing could not happen. That said, I really think it is the vast minority and, though denied by the person in this story, it really is a few bad apples who should be caught and excommunicated.
The person tries to make this seem standard, but it isn’t and I have a feeling that the further you go from “central command” the more things like this would happen. I know a TON of people who are single women, LDS, and pregnant or have a baby. My wife needed some counseling for unrelated issues, which was provided by LDSFS and these girls were everywhere (which is interesting considering we’re in Utah County, having moved here from Texas). They freely talked of their experiences and how good FS was, how some had decided instantly to keep the baby and they had never once been questioned, only supported. I also heard from several girls who were upset because they wanted to give the baby up but the father wouldn’t allow it and Family Services wouldn’t assist her in convincing him aside from some one-time brief informational meeting he requested. I saw similar experiences in Texas. The one part that may be confusing is LDSFS does offer for those who request it, homes of members elsewhere where they can go stay during the pregnancy. This is generally only an option for women who found out they are pregnant and no one knows and they don’t want anyone to ever know until they are ready. So they can choose to basically hide for a while away from their friends, have the baby, and then return and go on living a life without anyone knowing the better. It’s discouraged, but they do have it as an option if they are really afraid to face those they know.
So perhaps Canada’s LDSFS is playing fast and loose, but it’s not the standard. The Church handbook literally says that in the instances of child out of wedlock, the parents are encouraged to either marry or consider adoption, but if they choose neither they are not to be coerced. So that is that standard and anyone who breaks that stands in condemnation.
Posted by: Matt in UT on April 15th, 2009 at 5:46 pmAnyone who has dealt with Mormons on any level knows that “cohersion, threats, scare tacts, plotting, or breaking the law” is not the way of Mormons. We are God loving people, and followers of Christ. I’m not buying her story. She is obviously angry at someone, for something, and this is a retaliation, or it is the perception of someone that is lost and confused.
Posted by: J Tuininga on June 4th, 2009 at 10:06 pmMatt in UT and J Tuininga, your information about LDS Family Services is wrong. Many LDS agencies are dues-paying members of the National Council for Adoption in Washington, D.C.
The NCFA is a faithless, conniving, anti-family adoption propaganda mill. Its lobbyists are on Capitol Hill every day schmoozing with legislators and feeding them misinformation about adoption, and churning out press releases. They lie for a living. Where do these “charitable” and “christian” agencies get the millions it costs to maintain offices in Georgetown and throw parties at expensive hotels for their members and clients? How can they pay lobbyists six-figure salaries to deceive American politicians and taxpayers about adoption?
They get it from babyselling and huge donations from wealthy customers. I know because I and others have watched them like hawks for decades. They’re so obtuse and blinded by arrogance they don’t see us all around them. We hear what they say and know their schemes to tear apart natural families for profit. “Inventory is low,” isn’t it, Mr. Atwood? We know their family values.
People who buy and sell children can’t love and respect them as equal human beings and unique individuals. They’re using helpless babies as a means to their own ends, with no concern for the trauma they cause them. They’re using mothers, exploiting them of their children and discarding them like trash once they serve their purpose. That’s the definition of evil.
The babysellers refuse to give us the records they keep on us. They made us exceptions to the Freedom of Information Act, as if we’re dangerous criminals. THEY are the criminals. They’ve been destroying our records, evidence of their lies and corruption, for years. They know that if we were allowed access to our records, their child-selling operations would go bankrupt from all the fraud, coercion and malpractice lawsuits they’d be slammed with.
No wonder they and their paying clientele live in fear of us and hide behind our children. They forget our babies grow up and have minds of their own. They forget intelligence, altruism and courage are inherited traits. They ‘forget’ a lot, and want us to forget. We don’t.
Posted by: Not4Sale on July 7th, 2009 at 11:58 amWhahaha, what a BS story. If there’s one good adoption program, it’s the one of the latter day saints!
Posted by: SonofaDj on July 11th, 2009 at 6:05 pmUnfortunately I have had bad experiences with lds family services. I was 19 when I got pregnant ( I was raped) I was born and raised Lds and had no idea that it could get this bad. One of the social workers in charge of keeping up with me showed up at my house at least twice a week, telling me I didn’t know what I was doing, that I had no experience (what first time mom does?) It was a lot of pressure and she was down right obnoxious and rude and was yelling at me at one point. I defied them,(social workers and my bishop) and I was shunned. But when my daughter turned two, I was married in the d.c. temple, My husband adopted my daughter. she was sealed to him, and she is now 15 years old. I am grateful everyday that I did not listen to those hateful people who thought they knew what was best for me when really they are just doing what they are told and not understanding of others people’s rights to raise their own children.
Posted by: B schubie on August 3rd, 2009 at 9:11 pmIt is unfortunate that when things go wrong at any church affiliated program or agency the church is condemned unmercifully. While the church is perfect it is run by imperfect human beings with flaws, some up the ying yang and Bishops or any high official are not exempt. However, I must agree that those employed by the LDS Adoptive Service are not all angels who may have some “mean streaks” or misguided, or aren’t living the gospel as they should but over all, I believe that the majority are good god fearing people who are in sync with LDS doctrine and its teachings. LDS members should know that without Free Agency the Plan of salvation will be void, and there will be no true church on earth. People must be free to choose for themselves or the reedeming blood of Christ would have bled in vain. To force is of Satan which was his scheme from the begining of time to thawart the Plan of Salvation. Hence the words from the LDS hymn. “God forces no man to heaven or to hell…”. The choice is ours, and ours alone that we not blame God at the end. So to all who have little understanding of the LDS teachings, I hope this has shed some light on who we are. We are just people who know where we came from, why we are here, and where we are going will depend on how we live our lives among our fellow beings. It is our good works that will save us, and our lack of that will condemn us. It is all about choices and how we use our “free agency” that we will be held accountable at HIS feet. If there are those who are guilty of any injustice who are working at the LDS Adoptive Services it is my hope that you will chance upon my comment to refresh your memory and repent. For all those who have suffered unjustly be rested asured that they will recieve their just reward. Good luck to all of you and to B Schubie, may your challenges continue to build your testimony of God’s love and His love for you.
Posted by: tonu on August 28th, 2009 at 4:01 amI am sorry to hear that a few LDS people have not been living the gospel well. I am LDS myself - a convert - and have fortunately never seen members behaving in the desparaging ways mentioned in a couple of these posts. I am also a waiting adoptive parent working through LDS Family Services. And I have been waiting…., and waiting.. If the example in the original post were the rule rather than the exception, I would have had a child placed with me by now.
I want nothing so much as I want to be a mother but would never tolerate a child gained through abuse and manipulation. I have found no evidence of such behavior in my situation with LDS Family Services. We have been contacted by the relatives of mothers in third world countries that we found were trying to convince the mother to sell her children to us in America. We have declined all such offers. We’re quite good at ferreting out fraud at this point so it’s not likely that I’ve just been doupted by LDS Family Services either.
Lastly, I’d like to remind both sides of this debate that infertility is extremely painful for the women who suffer from it. There a many women who would make dedicated, loving mothers that can’t have their own - even LDS women. Please be respectful. If you’ve never experienced what I have, it’s hard to know how unkind some of these debates can be.
Posted by: KC Johnston on September 7th, 2009 at 3:52 amIt is sad to hear all this hate! I am sure that there are bad people at LDSFS just as there are bad people in all agencies. People who try to do things the wrong way and hurt others in the process. However, it is NOT the way things are supposed to be done and it is NOT the way the church teaches or the way any good social worker who cares would act. I know because I am LDS and also a Social Worker. I pray that those who have been hurt can find peace.
Posted by: capttonyt on September 26th, 2009 at 2:45 pm